I feel like I am dreaming

I have this unreal feeling today. Like I am in a dream. It is very odd.
Yesterday morning I had a message from my Aunt that her husband had suffered a major heart attack that night and was in the hospital. She called from an anonymous number, and didn't leave a call back. I called her cell phone, but you know how older people are, they don't have those things glued to themselves like my generation does. I left her a message, and waited for some news. This morning I had yet to hear anything so I called again-no answer, left a message. Then I called my mom to see if she knew how to get a hold of her-no answer, left a message. So I tried my cousin, her youngest son-no answer, left a message. I have heard from her since, she called about the time I arrived to work so I could not answer. She did leave a message. They are about 95% sure they will remove him from life support today. I thought I had done such a good job of removing myself from family/death that it would not affect me. But he is a good man, and she needs him. He is young. Only in his 50's. I am afraid she will give up her fight for life if she loses him. So, I am sad today. This is bringing back so many memories that I do not want to think about. I am 8 years old again. People I don't know in my house, like there is some sort of party. My mom is on the phone crying. I see my brother leave, someone is taking him for ice cream. I ask someone what is going on and they tell me my dad is gone. Well, I knew that, he was in St Louis having some sort of surgery. Everyone is crying and hugging and I am so confused. I hear the words "dead" and "never coming back" and I think I get it. I run out of the house. No one notices. I go across the street, I swing on my neighbors swing set, their mom comes out to talk to me about how she lost her mom when she was young too. I don't cry, because if I don't cry it won't be real. The only person who would have noticed, even cared that I was gone, is no longer here to care.